Ben's Flying Flowers

Foreword Book of the Year Finalist. Nautilus Award for Children’s Picture Book (Silver)

Ben’s Flying Flowers beautifully characterizes a child’s common emotional reactions when a sibling dies and pays specific attention to the child’s experience by way of explanation, imagery, and healing messages.

Day after day, Emily draws pictures of dark clouds with rain, and houses with tiny windows and doors. She misses her brother Ben so much and feels like she can never draw happy pictures again.

After losing Ben following a long illness, Emily feels alone, angry, and very, very sad. With the understanding and support of her parents, Emily learns that it helps when she snuggles with her parents. It helps when she talks about her feelings and asks questions about Ben. And it helps when she does regular kid stuff, too.

The death of a child is an extremely tragic and difficult experience for a family. Parents trying to manage their own grief must also provide support and guidance to the surviving children in the family. And, when a child dies, siblings may temporarily “lose” their grieving parents. Children may try to take care of their parents or attempt to show unusually good behavior. Or often, children worry about asking questions or expressing emotion, thinking that would make their parents too sad.

In Ben’s Flying Flowers, Emily learns that expressing her feelings and asking questions about Ben’s death can be helpful, as can doing normal everyday activities. She comes to understand that remembering happier times with Ben soothes sad feelings and provides much comfort to her and her parents.

A Note to Parents describes the psychological issues that children confront when a sibling dies and offers practical strategies and guidance to parents for navigating the child and their family through the grieving process.